Good Times
These are the days which try men’s souls. Maybe that is slightly too dramatic, but it is fair to say it was a difficult day for me. I learned that I had not gotten the job that I had interviewed for a few days prior. I had been reluctant to apply for the job out of pride. I felt that I was too good for the job, but I realized that I needed it. Apparently the job felt that I was not good enough and that it did not need me. Upon learning the news that I had not gotten the job, I felt inconsolable. After I hung up the phone, I collapsed on my bed and began to feel sorry for myself. After a few moments lying on the bed lamenting how things had suddenly gone so terribly awry, I decided to dust myself off and stop lying around feeling self-pity. The following is a semi-factual account of the steps I took to patch up my wounded ego.
Step 1: Facebook – For the past week I had been discussing with my Facebook friends about my soon to be triumphant re-entry into the workplace. I received encouragement and assurances that it would all work out for the best. I seem to lack the amount of faith that most people I know have in the inevitability of positive outcomes. Of course I appreciated their kind words and I needed a pep talk anyway so it was all for the best I guess. I was a bit worried prior to the interview and after the interview I was even more worried. I was probably being pessimistic. My Facebook friends were probably right, despite a shaky interview I was probably a lock for the job, I thought to myself. I don’t think I have ever went on an interview and not gotten hired. It is probably more likely a result of my unwillingness to apply for a job, unless I was fairly certain I would get hired, than anything else. Anyway as you know I did not get the job. Ironically my worrying may have been my ultimate downfall, actually I know it was what caused me to not get the job. The woman who interviewed me for the job said that my resume and past work experience were all good, but that during the interview I had not really shown the outgoing personality traits that they were looking for at this job. Now in my defense I was extremely nervous and it was an unconventional group interview which completely threw me off. It really had nothing to do with the potential job, it took forever and it didn’t really give me a chance to explain fully why they should hire me.
I previously said that after a few moments of grief I decided to dust myself off and stop lying around feeling self-pity. Well my first move was actually to roll over and grab my laptop and log onto my Facebook account to tell my Facebook friends the sorry news. They attempted to lift my spirits in various ways. Many of them were sure that this was a sign that it wasn’t meant to be and that I would find something else. One suggested that I drink away my sorrow the next night. I appreciated all the suggestions and condolences, but I was looking for some additional wisdom to let me know everything was going to be alright.
Step 2: The Bible - I am not a religious man, but I know many people who are, so I thought I would turn to the bible for some guidance. Even if I don’t believe in the bible as an historically accurate account of history, surely there is some wisdom to be had by reading it. As luck would have it I had just read about an online random bible quote generator. It was used to insert bible quotes randomly in a blog post. I scoffed at it at first thinking that it seemed to be nonsensical that you would put a random quote into a blog post, but I realized that to the religious mind nothing is random. To them it is all a part of a greater plan by a deity who looks down at us all and is able to influence any event whenever he so chooses by way of Providence. Of course if he is able to do this or perhaps if it is already a part of his greater plan than certainly he could rig the random bible quote generator to spit out quotes that could provide context for whatever the situation dictated. This can also be done through a computer program. Examples of this include Zemanta which I use for this blog. It scours my post and tries to find relevant links, related pictures or articles. Google Adsense also uses a similar process to try to advertise to the readers, whoever few they may be, of this blog. I was not going to use the random quote generator at the end of a post as it was likely intended. In that case it would be easy for the program to use what I had written to come up with a wise proverb or quote from the bible. No, I wanted a truly random one assuming there is such a thing.
‘In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread, and so until the twenty-first day of the month at evening’
I was not really sure how to interpret the significance of this quote. Let me rephrase that I understand that leavened and unleavened bread played a significant role in the bible and in the subsequent schism between Eastern and Western churches later on, but I do not understand how it applies to my situation. Coincidentally it was the thirteenth of the month when I was searching the random bible quote generator for a meaningful quote so perhaps I needed to eat unleavened bread for a week as the quote says. I know pita and matza are considered unleavened bread, but I would guess that a flat tortilla would also technically be considered unleavened bread. This would give me a good excuse to eat burritos for a week. I don’t really need an excuse to go to Moe’s and a Chipotle just recently opened in my area. I am starting to like the random bible quote generator.
“These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that has not fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is detestable to you.You shall regard them as detestable; you shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall detest their carcasses. Everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is detestable to you.”
I don’t really see how that is relevant. Maybe it is saying I am being punished for eating shrimp and that is why I didn’t get the job. Unlike the previous quote instructing me to eat burritos for seven days, this one seems to be a non-sequitur.
Step 3: Random 1980’s song lyric generator – After initially showing great promise, I gave up on the random bible quote generator after it seemed to obsess about my dietary habits. In addition to not having the same affinity for bible quotes as many other people I know, I also lack enthusiasm for 1980’s pop music. Still I wondered if perhaps somewhere beneath the bad music there was some wisdom to be found in the lyrics. Ok let’s find out what the random 1980’s popular music song lyric generator has to say.
“You got to have a j.o.b. if you want to be with me. Ain’t nothing going on but the rent.”
This random generator produced a quote that was in context, but it failed to make me feel any better about my situation. It reminded me that not only did I not have j.o.b., but I was also single. I will give it one more try.
“We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time. No no. We can dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine. Aha. Nahnah nah nah nahnananah na na.”
Another non-sequitur, and it also seems that the same company may be responsible for producing these “random” generators. All they want to talk about is food and purity.
Unfortunately I was not able to gain any solace from the random 1980’s song lyric generator or the random bible quote generator. Going on Facebook and receiving encouragement and advice from friends was far better than either of the alternatives. Turning my troubles into a rambling slightly-coherent blog post is what finally made me feel better about the whole thing.
Postscript: Since I touched on religion and 1980’s pop music I understand there is a possibility that someone will read this and get offended, maybe not as likely as the possibility that someone will read this and be bored to death by it or that someone will read it and not get what I was trying to say, but still someone may be offended by it. It was not my intent to do so. In fact I did not really intend it to have a coherent message either. I just started rambling about how I didn’t get the job I applied for and one thing led to another. I think the title of the new Larry David movie sums up my thoughts on the post best, “Whatever Works”. If reading scripture, praying, listening to bad music or writing rambling slightly-coherent blog posts helps you to make some sense over the seemingly random events of your life than I think it is great. Now back to one more attempt to extract meaning from a seemingly random unrelated quote. Time for the random 1980’s sitcom lyric generator. In this case I think it is more dramatic if it is read in a preacher’s voice rather than sung.
“The world does not move to the beat of just one drum…What might be right for you…may not be right for some…Because it takes different strokes to move the world.”
Interesting. It seems to be relevant at least to the last paragraph. I have a good feeling about the random 1980’s sitcom lyric generator so far. Let’s try one more.
“Temporary layoffs, Good times. Easy credit rip offs. Good Times. Hanging in a chow line. Good times. We’re so lucky we got em’. Good Times.”
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