WTF is a Blackjack Taco?
That is the question that may haunt my dreams for years to come. Taco Bell is running a new advertisement promoting a limited-edition taco called the blackjack taco. Why is it called the blackjack taco? It is a secret shrouded in as much mystery as how the beef they use in Taco Bell tacos is approved for human consumption. (My best guess on the beef has always been that they lobby Congress with large amounts of money, or that they use some sort of loophole, which normally applies to dog food, to get their meat approved for humans.)
I have watched the commercial numerous times today expecting to hear mention of why the taco is called the blackjack and have yet to hear a good explanation. I guess I failed to mention that the taco shell is black. So it makes some sense, I guess, but why is it black? Are they using some horribly-mutated new variety of corn? Are they using some other ingredient in lieu of corn? Is there a secret ingredient that allows the consumer who eats a blackjack taco the ability to be able to count cards in blackjack? If it is the latter than eight-nine cents is more than a reasonable price for the taco, but otherwise it is downright terrifying to imagine the possible reasons why this abomination has been conjured up by the good people of Yum Brands Incorporated.
So far I have not been able to get any answers to these perfectly reasonable questions. Now I will admit that I haven’t actually asked anyone these questions yet, but that is just not a good enough excuse for me. The picture above appears to be proof of the devastation that is going to occur after the introduction of this sinister taco.
As always when there is a mystery I cannot solve these days, I will turn to the magical oracle known as Google and see what he has to say about this blackjack taco. If he does not know the origin, purpose and ingredients of the blackjack taco, then we can all agree that the blackjack taco is likely a foreshadowing of the end times. I will let you know when I hear from him.
Update: According to the oracle, it is not as actually a harbinger of the end times, it is fact a pretty standard taco. Perhaps this should serve as some sort of lesson to not overreact to every commercial I see. This was almost as bad as that time Peter called 911 because Taco Bell forgot to give him cinnamon sticks with his order. (Imagine Family Guy clip with Peter, which is not an actual clip from Family Guy ,and if it was it would not be included anyway for copyright reasons. There have actually been real cases of people who have called 911 because they received the wrong order at a fast food restaurant so that allows me to use the based on actual events tag.)
The black taco shell coloring is apparently achieved by some new technology called food coloring, and there is some pepper jack sauce and three kinds of cheeses. This news comes by way of a website called Grubgrade via a Google search.
A crunchy black taco shell filled with seasoned beef, zesty pepper jack sauce, shredded lettuce and a blend of three cheeses - cheddar, pepper jack and mozzarella.
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