Red Sox Fans are Becoming Leo DiCaprio
I had been considering posting about the healthcare industry and the U.S. space program. I have instead chosen to post about how myself and my fellow Red Sox fans are becoming increasingly hard to please.
Most Red Sox fans began to believe that they would never witness their beloved team win the World Series. After not winning a World Series in almost a century the Red Sox have won two in the last five years. Most of us Sox fans insisted that the first win would be enough to satisfy us for years to come. At the very least Sox management would get a free pass for a decade or so we said. Well it has been two years since our last championship and already Sox fans are miserable again.
A perfect example of this is the Boston Sports Guy himself, Bill Simmons. Simmons wrote a book called “Now I Can Die In Peace” after the Sox won the World Series in 2004. Well Simmons is now Twittering on a daily basis about how dissatisfied he is with the current Red Sox team. Here is one of his latest Tweets:
Buster O. thinks Sox will stand pat: “Like the Cubs in this way: Guys playing for them now simply must perform better.” I am ready for NFL
Well I guess it is understandable since the Sox have no chance of making the playoffs this year. Oh that’s right they are actually leading the wild card and only two games behind the Yankees for the division. Also they lead the division for almost the entire first half. I have been extremely frustrated with the Sox as well lately so I am not trying to single Simmons out. I think he speaks for a large portion of us Sox fans who have grown spoiled by the Sox recent success. The best comparison I can think of is Leonardo Dicaprio.
Leo can basically have any woman he wants. When he meets a new beautiful woman I’m sure he convinces himself that this time it will be different. Take for example Giselle Bundchen. Leo dated her and many considered her the most beautiful woman in the world. After dating her for a bit Leo set his sights on Bar Rafaeli, another supermodel. He could have considered himself lucky for being able to land a supermodel, but he felt compelled to date the most attractive one. So he began dating Rafaeli. I actually agree that Rafaeli is far more attractive than Giselle, but that really isn’t the point. If you are always obsessed with upgrading than you will never be happy. I know people like this with cars or computers. They buy one and it will make them happy initially, but soon after the purchase they see a new model that they wish they had bought instead.
The Red Sox fans are like this now. We are not content with the fact that we are one of the best organizations in baseball and can contend every year for the playoffs with a good chance of winning the championship. We have to be the best every year or we are not happy. Here is another recent Tweet from Simmons or Sportguy33 as he is known on Twitter:
Sox declined “to trade Buchholz for Victor Martinez.” I will now peel the skin off my body.
I know I said I wasn’t singling him out, I’m not although I’m sure it seems that way. The point is that I feel the same way he does and it drives me crazy. I realize that I need to get a life and not obsess about the Red Sox so much, but I have yet to be able to do so. I wish I had Leo’s problem instead of mine and I bet Kansas City Royal fans wish they had my problem, such is life.
Another story I heard today about a celebrity who is in a relationship with a supermodel.
Andy Roddick recently married Sports Illustrated supermodel Brooklyn Decker. Brooklyn is extremely beautiful and seems to be a sports fan from the few interviews I have seen her do. As a sports fan it is easy to be envious of Roddick, obviously for more reasons than his new wife’s interest in sports. Roddick unlike Leo decided that instead of waiting around for someone better than Brooklyn he would marry her instead.
If that was the end of the story it would be easy for me to say that Sox fans should be more like Roddick, but it is not the end. During the interview Decker revealed that she was introduced to Roddick at his agent’s request. Roddick was looking at a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and like millions of men liked what he saw in Brooklyn Decker. Unlike millions of other men Roddick told his agent to get in touch with Decker’s people and arrange a date. She says after five months she finally agreed to date him. She said it is unfortunate that this sort of thing happens often to models. A celebrity contacts them to try to arrange a meeting after seeing their photos. In this case Roddick was rewarded for this behavior and ultimately she married him. If he was a regular guy who continued to hound her for a meeting he would likely have been accused of being a stalker. Of course Roddick is one of the better tennis players in the world, not a UPS guy so it worked out for him in the end.
Like the Kansas City Royals fan who laments the Red Sox fan and his plight and wishes he could swap his woes for that of the Sox fan. I would like to think if I was a celebrity and was going to have my agent contact someone for me it would have to be for more than just that her photos in a bikini were hot. Certainly that would help, but it couldn’t be the only criteria. Maybe if I really respected her work as an actress or she seemed to be a thoughtful, intelligent person such as Natalie Portman. Perhaps if she was a beautiful female athlete like Natalie Gulbis, Paula Creamer or Danica Patrick whom I respected for her accomplishments as well as her looks, I would have my agent contact her.
One more Sportsguy Tweet before we go:
This Red Sox season is like Tim Hutton’s girlfriend in “Beautiful Girls” - a solid & uninspirational 7.5 in every category.
What is wrong with a 7.5? I guess if you are used to dating supermodels a 7.5 is bad, but most guys would be happy with a 7.5 just as most baseball fans would be thrilled if their team was in contention to make the playoffs. Seriously Tim Hutton’s character began flirting with Natalie Portman in that movie because he was bored with his girlfriend. Sure if it was Natalie Portman now it would be a no-brainer. She is beautiful, intelligent and seems to be down to earth. The problem is in the movie she was about 12 years old. Regardless of whether Hutton was inspired by his girlfriend or not, he should not have even thought twice about doing anything about his feelings of inspiration for Portman’s character.
Back to Simmon’s Tweet about peeling his skin off because the Sox did not trade Clay Buchholz for Victor Martinez. Maybe if we trade Buchholz we will look back on the deal with regret if he ends up being Natalie Portman circa 2009, but he seems to be emotionally fragile so there is just as much chance he could become Lindsay Lohan circa 2009. Victor Martinez is maybe not Bar Rafaeli, but he is at least Giselle Bundchen and as Tom Brady would tell you if you have a chance to trade for Giselle Bundchen you make that trade every time and worry about the consequences later.
Instead the Red Sox insist on making trades for solid guys who are likely less than 7.5s like Adam LaRoche and us spoiled Sox fans continue to lament how we wish we could get Victor Martinez or Roy Halladay instead of appreciating our solid 7.5 team.
Last I heard Leo dumped Bar Rafaeli effectively making her a free agent. Now you would think Andy Roddick would be happy that he is married to Brooklyn Decker, but there is probably some part of him that wonders if he would have been able to land Bar Rafaeli if he was still single. He probably wouldn’t have been able to and is probably better off with what he has now.
I believe I would behave differently if I was in Leo or Roddick’s shoes, but truthfully you never really know how you would behave until it actually happens. Theo Epstein seems to lean more on the side of Andy Roddick than Leo. Sure he might read FanGraphs or Baseball Prospectus and fantasize about what life would be like if he landed Martinez or Halladay. Instead he realizes that the Sox have the best of both worlds. They are competitive now and have prospects for the future. Sure they may not be the most exciting team in the world, but there are worse things in the world than being a 7.5.
Full Disclosure: The Sox are trying to build their farm system and stay competitive at the same time which is difficult to do. They probably are resisting trading for Martinez because although he is a great hitter, he is a catcher in his early thirties and will likely be transitioning to 1b or DH in the near future. If it was Joe Mauer the Sox would likely have traded Buchholz without even thinking twice. Mauer is really the guy the Sox executives have truly been drooling over. He will be a free agent in two years. The problem is that he is not currently available and if he becomes a free agent in two years, Leo, I mean the Yankees will likely outbid us for him as they also could use a great young catcher. The difference is the Yankees could conceivably trade for Martinez and then in two years move him to DH and still sign Mauer. Also Leo DiCaprio is a Yankee fan for what that is worth. Ben Afflec, a Red Sox fan, locked up Jennifer Garner to a long-term contract. Sure compared to some of the women DiCaprio has dated she may be a solid 7.5, but Afflec has dated Jennifer Lopez in the past so he is probably more than happy to have a solid 7.5. That is sort of the way the Sox look at things post Manny. They are very careful about locking up anything, but a sure thing to a long-term deal.
I am also a huge Bill Simmons fan just wanted to make that clear. I am just as spoiled as he is when it comes to the Sox. Well except I did not make tons of money selling a book about them so I probably have more reason to be bitter than he does.
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