Dickness

I was watching the latest episode of 24 on my DVR today and because there is a lot of talk about Valentine’s Day I began to think of how Jack Bauer has been unlucky in love. Most of his relationships have ended badly. Nina Myers was a lunatic. The blond played by Sarah Wynter was attractive, but at this point I barely remember their relationship. He briefly dated Principal Tammy Taylor (Connie Britton). I can’t actually remember her name on the show and their relationship happened mostly between seasons so that does not really count. Principle Tammy Taylor is actually her name on Friday Night Lights in which she is simultaneously the hottest mom and high school principal currently on television. Sure there may be some younger sexy mom on television, but she has a teenage daughter on the show so that is a little more impressive. I also forgot Nathan Petrelli’s wife. She was the wife of Jack’s brother (pictured below) on 24, her name is Rena Sofer. She is pretty, but her character was nothing special on the show. Really Jack’s love interests usually serve as nothing more than a plot device to show that Jack has a human side to him. They are usually forgettable and boring. Nina Myers was not boring, but she was crazy. You don’t usually forget it when you date a crazy woman.

His most serious relationship was with Audrey Raines, but she was a little boring and I did not really find her that attractive. She seemed to be the one for Jack as he even risked his life to free her from a Chinese prison. Not that this is too surprising as he risks his life every episode to keep us safe. If all of his significant others either dying, going crazy or leaving the show for other parts was not enough, his daughter Kim played by Elisha Cuthbert also died.

The new woman in Jack’s life is agent Walker. She is one of, if not, the most attractive women Bauer has been involved with on the show and he is slowly bringing her around to his way of thinking. She is still hesitant to torture as a first option like Jack is, but she will soon do it without thinking twice about the repercussions. Jack has been a little out of control lately even for him. He convinced Agent Walker to hold a woman and her daughter hostage at gunpoint to convince a terrorist to give him information. He commandeered someone’s vehicle at gunpoint. He then held another guy at gunpoint to force him to let him in the backroom of a hideout.

She is probably the perfect woman for Bauer as they both are into rough stuff. It sort of creeps me out, but they would likely be into simulated torture play. Of course she will probably be lucky to make it through the season as Jack is not usually lucky in love. His first priorities are saving the country and torturing as many people along the way as he can. Sorry I meant to say he only tortures them as a last resort, although I do think if he wanted to take a woman to a specific restaurant and could not get reservations he would torture the maitre d’ in order to get a table, but that is the sort of thing Agent Walker would likely find romantic. They have not consummated their relationship as of yet, but he buried her alive in order to convince the terrorists that he was on their side. If she still likes him after that I think it is a safe bet to say he has a pretty good chance with her.

Full Disclosure: I do not get too worked up when Jack goes rogue because I realize it is make believe, but unfortunately we have members of congress who do not realize it is not reality. They use examples of the show to try to persuade people that we should use more aggressive interrogation techniques, which is a little like saying more doctors should be as quick to biopsy someone’s brain as Dr Gregory House is. Clearly Jack Bauer and House are exceptions and should be treated as such. They are great at their jobs, but not everyone is as skilled as them. If House says you should drill into someone’s brain you fight him initially if you are Cuddy, but you eventually give in because he is House and he is always right. This was basically what Dr. Cameron, Jennifer Morrison, said a few weeks ago when they actually let her get some screen time. I like Thirteen, and Taub and Kuttner are okay, but it is terrible how little they show Dr. Cameron.

Sorry for the rant about Dr. Cameron. My point was that as with House and medical decisions, if Jack Bauer feels he needs to torture someone for information he does it. He deals with the consequences later. He is Jack Bauer and although he sometimes allows people to be killed he is responsible for saving many more lives.  The real point is although we should be celebrating the great work that Jack Bauer does everyday to help keep this country safe I do not know if anyone should be given as much leeway as him. He has earned it.

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